Why does my mum abuse me?

well hi im only 11 and im living in the uk. well my mum the thing is she abuse me she always abuse me and i don't want to tell people of what she dose's to me and i feel frightened to tell people i always thought of com-met Suicide and i always wish i did that because my life is terrible no one loves me in this world i feel odd and the world means nothing to me and i wish i was dead at this age because well i cant remember properly well she abuse me when i was 9 i think or younger. you know asian people . OMG i feel so frustrated in this world if only i ran away and lived my own life just me and no one ....... and i wont tell u the rest